The ****/The "Dog" Song

THE ****/THE “DOG” SONG Wayne Thomas & Dennis Helton
(Spoken)
There’s been all sorts of stories, ‘bout man and his best friend
Songs ‘bout ole Shep and Red and shows like Rin-Tin-Tin
So I thought I’d write this ditty ‘bout my times with my first dog
Add a little music and sing them in this song………….

I miss the times you humped my leg the hair all over the couch,
The holes you dug up in the yard, The scratch marks in the house
It hurt so much the day you left I guess you were in heat
You ran away with the neighbor’s dog, I found your tags in the street
(sing)
Come home to me oh shaggy one
I’ll buy you a brand new dish,
I’ll even give you a regular name
Instead of calling you the ****.

I didn’t know I’d miss you so, after all you’re just a dog
But life round here just ain’t the same without those little brown logs,
The fact is if the truth be known, I’m lonely as can be
Never knew how much I’d miss watching you chase squirrels up trees
The moral of this story is I should have had you spayed
Then I wouldn’t worry about you stayin out so late
The next time that I get a dog, I’ll keep him tied to a tree
And I’ll make sure it is the kind that hikes its leg to pee.