09. Wifi Wife

WIFI WIFE Lyrics

It started all so innocently at home
When my husband got me my first cellular phone
Tossed my pager and datebook, thought “this is for me”
It was then I got addicted to technology
I shopped around and got myself a cute little Mac
I traded in my Hoover for a Roomba Vac
Bought a Blackberry, but I didn’t make jam
And at night I read my kids Green Eggs and SPAM

CHORUS
I'm a Wifi wife -- in the 21st Century
She’s a Wifi wife -- in the 21st Century

When I clean up, I don’t use a mop
I just delete icons from my desktop
I upgraded my iPad with retina display
Now I’m on hold with Mr. Gupta in Bombay

CHORUS

Now my hormones rage I wake up at 3
Checking my symptoms on WebMD
I open Facebook, I update and share
While sweating buck-naked in my office chair
My skin’s bright red, my temple pounds
My laptop sleeps but I can’t power down
Flushes and flashed are what I got
I’m a living wireless hot spot

CHORUS