Haunted House - Aaron Nathans & Michael G. Ronstadt

Haunted House
(c) 2020 Aaron Nathans

I saw it in the paper
I was looking for a deal
I dickered and I bargained
I got it for a steal
I moved in my possessions
As I tucked in for the night
There was a howling in the hallway
And a pinging in the pipes
I get the sense that I’m not here alone
Guess I’ll have to make this haunted house my home

I went about my business
I tried to tune it out
But during meditation
I could hear a screeching sound
My cat was acting funny
Hey, who left on the lights?
And I saw funny shadows
In the corner of my eye
And I could swear I heard somebody moan
I’ll have to make this haunted house my home

I called in desperation
I called her out of fright
And there she came, with long white dreads
And a long silver flashlight
She asked questions of the static
And the shadows on the wall
Her beeper was a-beeping
As I felt a creepy pall
She said, “Without a doubt,
You’re not alone.
Guess you’ll have to make this haunted house your home”

Just then I heard the thunder
A **** of the light
The house in total darkness
We stepped into the night
And I felt somebody push me
As a tree fell like a knife
Inches from my head, she said
That ghost just saved your life (x3)

And now we live together
The ghost, the cat and me
We all sprawl out on my big couch
And watch football on TV
He’s quiet and he’s tidy
Much to my surprise
It took some getting used to
But now I live and let die
And I don’t ever have to be alone
‘Cause I get to make this haunted house
I get to make this haunted house
Yes, I’ll happily make this haunted house my home