Come On Smiling, Leave 'Em Laughing

(from the original musical “Playing the Bill”: sung by the vaudeville comic, Happy Harry)

Come on smiling, leave 'em laughing,
Kill the crowd with darbs and wowzers in between!
Tell that crum-bum you’re no glum-bum,
Then split him right in the beam! (spoken, holding his rear-end: “THAT SMARTS!”)

Keep the yuks a-rollin'
Like the yokels in the aisle,
“That was my wife!” is always “cherce,”
It’s sure to win a smile! HEY!

Bright suspenders on my pants,
A smile slapped on my face,
I keep the crowd in stitches
While rolling on my skates! (spoken, effeminately: “IT’S JUST LIKE THE BALLET!”)

Come on smiling, leave 'em laughing,
Kill the crowd with darbs and wowzers in between!
Tell that crum-bum you’re no glum-bum,
Then split him right in the beam! (spoken, holding his rear-end: “THAT'S GOTTA HURT!”)
Up and down, around I go,
Guffaw! Hiccup! Hooray!
The name is Happy Harry
And I’m here to cheer your day! HEY!

A custard pie held in my hand
Will set the place a-twitter!
If there’s a dame dressed to the nines
You’re damn sure that I’ll hit ’er! (spoken, high-pitched: “YOU BEAST!”)

Come on smiling, leave 'em laughing,
Kill the crowd with darbs and wowzers in between!
Tell that crum-bum you’re no glum-bum,
Then split him right in the beam! (spoken, holding his rear-end: “THIS IS GETTIN' ****-I-NINE!”)

Laughter is the poor man’s coin
You can bet your last red cent,
But all the world just loves a clown –
Ev’ry lady, lad, and gent! HEY!

Keep on smiling, keep 'em laughing,
If you're life is hell just grin and say "Hell-O!"
Oh, the best time could be this time
And this guy should oughta –
This guy should oughta –
This clown should oughta know!