Realty TV
Reality TV

I wanna be on Reality TV
I want my everyday life to be celebrity
Cameras could follow me round as I
brush my teeth, read a magazine, go to asleep

I’ll throw tantrums at strangers
Lose my keys, burn my toast
Wander round shopping malls flashing
plastic cards, it’ll be so exciting

My life will be like a fairytale come true
Screening just for you
My talents will shine on the screen
But my talents are a mystery to you and me

I’ll get married, divorced, pose for Playboy
Then turn up to opening nights on my own
People will say how it’s brave of me
I’ll tell everyone how it’s so good to be free

I’ll release a single, an album, a cookbook
Design a range of ladies’ jeans
I’ll have to be constantly on my toes
Cause it’s not going to last you know

My life will be open to scrutiny
That’s the price I’ll pay to be me
My fame will only last one season
Or two if it’s on cable TV

I wanna be on Reality TV
When the publicity is flagging
I’ll put out the trash in my underwear
Then sell my story to Womans’ Day

My life will be an organised tragedy
My desperation is clear
I’ll shave my head, go to rehab
Then devote my life to charity