My Felony

Looking for trouble.
Found some more. It was 1:45
at the liquor store. She rang me up
her eyes dressed me down. She said, “Hey there, Mister New-Guy-in-Town.”

Should’ve said “no”
and left right away. But my brain didn’t get
the final say.

Those green eyes made me blurt it out-
“Cutie what time are you clocking out?”

Yes, I call her my felony. What she did to me a crime. But if is she’s my felony, why am I the one doing time?

Later that night
we were driving around
trying to find
the last party in town.

Then a cop car pulled
right up to me. He lit us up like a Christmas tree.

Turned to her
and said "what did I do?" She said, "something I need
to share with you. That cop behind us is my husband, Fred.
Step on it now before we wind up dead.

Yes, I call her my felony. What she did to me a crime. But if is she’s my felony, why am I the one doing time?

Yes, I’m a one tough mother,
even if I loved her,
nobody walks over me.
So thank you little dearie,
and I mean this sincerely-
Not pleading to a felony.

Yelled “something like that
you need to tell.”
As I took right off
like a bat out of hell. Driving on rims,
sparks flying behind.
Knew right then I’d be doing some time.

DA threw the book.
Judge fell right in line. Trial was quick.
Jury made up their mind.

A lesson for all. It’s a lesson for life. Never go out with a Deputy’s wife. No you don’t!

I call her my felony. What she did to me a crime.
But if is she’s my felony, why am I the one doing time?

I want a retrial.