McArthur's Cunning Ruger

A gentleman McArthur was an unmistakable man
A little short on smarts but he knew he had a plan
Knocking off banks was going to be his game
But for all of the wrong reasons, everybody knows his name

He went out into steel city, his Ruger on his side
Into Fidelity savings, his face he did not hide
He said hand over the money and don’t you waste my time
I got lots more banks to hit before I head on down the line
(Have you heard about Anosognosia? Dude! She is hot!)

On to Mellon bank, he was sure his plan it was strong
Even smiled for the camera, sure he could not go wrong
Everyone saw his pictures on the evening news
The dumbest robber ever, wearing nothing but the juice
(Le jus? Oui, le Jus. Qu'est-ce que se le jus?)

The detectives came a knockin’, ("Police! Open up!") from Pittsburg PD
He let them and laughed, said you’ll hang nothing on me
But when he saw the camera footage, he knew his plan had failed
When you’re too dumb to know you’re clueless, you’re gonna spend your life in jail.