Time Machine Weed

Time Machine Weed
by Jon Spear(c)2019

When I was young and carefree / Smokin’ pot could get you jailed
But now that’s ancient history / Cause it’s legally on sale
They got pot to cheer you up / and pot to calm you down
Pot to make you sleepy / or run a marathon

They got pot for all your moods / bein’ frisky or in the nude
Pot to bring you lotsa luck / Or make you quack just like a duck
Now all of that is fine and dandy / but if the truth be told
There’s just one type of pot I need / but I don’t know where it’s sold!

CHORUS
Time Machine weed -- that’s what I need
Crankin’ back the hands of time – satisfaction guaranteed
Go back -- do all the things / I coulda shoulda woulda done
Revisit all my past mistakes / and fix them one-by-one

Sittin on the back porch / of my life I’m takin’ stock
It made me very sleepy to hear / the ticking of the clock
I closed my eyes and started counting / all those grains of sand
And later when I woke up / there’s a doobie in my hand

Now you may ask me to explain / how it came to pass
I dozed off empty handed / And woke up with some grass.
Well please just be patient / I have the answers that you need
That big ol’ reefer in my hand / Was time-machine weed

CHORUS
Time Machine weed -- that’s what I need
Crankin’ back the hands of time – satisfaction guaranteed
Go back -- do all the things / I coulda shoulda woulda done
Revisit all my past mistakes
and fix them one-by-one

I fired up that magic blunt / And took a big ol’ hit
And right away I realized / This was some amazing ****
The hands of the clock were spinning back/ Rain fell up to the sky
The sun was setting in the east and I was flying high!

The sky above was spinning / stars and planets too
Started to converge into / a planetary stew
Holy crap thought to myself / as I sat there grinning
I’m goin’ back so far in time / I’m right at the beginning!

Looked up ‘n’ saw the heavens part / heard a giant thunder clang
I realized I was witnessing / the mythical big bang
How everything began is mankind’s oldest question
And now I’ve finally learned the truth – God had indigestion.
The scientists would be amazed to see / how everything’s starting
From a Big old butt-crack in the sky / ‘twas just our good lord farting

CHORUS
Time Machine weed -- that’s what I need
Crankin’ back the hands of time – satisfaction guaranteed
Go back -- do all the things / I coulda shoulda woulda done
Revisit all my past mistakes
and fix them one-by-one

So right away I realized / that this magic jay
Would let me fix a few mistakes /still haunting me today
The first thing I thought of was / the ex-wife I’ve been dreading
So, I gave myself a flat tire /and missed the whole damn wedding

Did the same for numbers 2 and three / Who brought me acrimony
Now I got alot more happiness and a lot less alimony
Then I found my lazy young self / oversleeping like a slob
And kicked my own **** out of bed / so’s I never lost my job

Then I ran ‘round fast as I could / doing random good deeds
Fed some hungry children / help old ladies cross the street
saved a drowning kitten / punched a bully in the nose
Wrote letters to my mom & dad / gave a homeless man my clothes

I had one more thing to do /before the pot wore off
I went and found my sleeping self /out on my own back porch
That’s when I put the magic herb/ in my own sleeping hand
And hid off in the bushes /so now you understand
It was I who left myself / with that magic cigarette
Since I was still in the past, /I hadn’t smoked it yet!

CHORUS
Time Machine weed -- that’s what I need
Crankin’ back the hands of time –