Hoosegow

Hoosegow

Please don’t send me to the hoosegow
Or wherever the hell you said
Sounds like it doesn’t have very good chow,
Or where a man might find a bed.

Sounds like it must be an awful place
Unfit for even a sow
I just hate the sound that dammed word makes
Hoosegow??

I’d rather go to a dungeon
Or a tower in London-O
I don’t mean to be a curmudgeon,
But I’ve got some pride, you know.

So I robbed a bank or two,
Or three or four or more.
The folks I shot were very few
And they were very poor.

Please don’t send me to the hoosegow
Or wherever the hell you said
Sounds like it doesn’t have very good chow,
Or where a man might find a bed.

So please don’t send me far away
To that place I can’t respect
I’d somehow rather swing and sway
Dangling by my neck

I promise I’ll be good
I’ll take the cloth, by gum
I’ll leave the neighborhood
And no longer be a bum.

I’ll preach the word, I’ll ring the bell
I’ll even donate my sperm.
Helping others to help themselves…
Until their backs are turned.

Please don’t send me to the hoosegow
Or wherever the hell you said
Sounds like it doesn’t have very good chow,
Or where a man might find a bed.