11 Days

11 days

I was in the hospital for all of 11 days
For all the fun I didn’t have somehow I still had to pay
Maybe it was worrying, maybe it was dreaming or just something I heard someone say
This happens when you get old, still I don’t think of myself that way

Esther and Diane took me walking all over 7th floor
Dudley brought Mad magazines from the comic book store
Pat brought Kerouac, Patsy brought flowers, and Jan stayed for hours so long
And Jonno brought the paper on which I wrote down this song

Then I get home after living on IV for 11 days
I wanted to lose weight but I don’t recommend doing it this way
My jeans don’t fit so tight, and I’m starting to look good in that tiny old T-shirt
But when my cat tried to make biscuits on my belly, let me tell you that hurt

Friends held benefits and helped me out with my rent
And I lost count of the emails and thank-you notes that I sent
The one that stands out in my mind was when I told one friend
That I’d been and cut and stapled and she wasn’t sure what that meant

Now my incision looks a lot like a painting by Keith Haring
If I’ve given you too many details you can thank me for sharing
I can’t be thankful enough to my friends for their caring
My apologies to all of those I succeeded in scaring

[Almost bearable was the cost of my nausea pills
But the real shocker was when the hospital sent me the bill
The good news is when Medicaid’s done, those five figures will be whittled to virtually free
[Till the politicians do]
Till Bobby Jindal does away with health care for people like me]

People say I should write songs about this or that now and then
This one came to me but I don’t ever want to go through that again
When I went back to visit the nurse could not look me straight in the eye
She just said “Congratulations for getting out of this place alive.”