That's Not Me

Mrs. Curtis got a letter in the mail
Congratulations, you have won!
She tore it up and threw it in the jambalaya
And never knew what she had done

Dr. Simon took his mind for a vacation
He didn’t notice he’d forgot his keys
Now he’s locked out of his house until forever
Another dry martini if you please

Maybe that’s the way those people want to live
That’s OK for them

That's not me
I'm special and I do things differently
No, no, no, that’s not me
I have got my own philosophy
That’s not me

No one even comes to poor Denise’s bedroom
Because she’s always on the phone
She’s making plans to spend her life with someone special
If only she could leave her throne

All the children go to Uncle Alan’s basement
To watch old movies on a tattered screen
Sometimes when he stands behind the yellow curtain
You can take a drink from his canteen

Maybe that’s the way some people want to live
That’s OK for them

That's not me
I'm special and I do things differently
You’re sadly mistaken, that’s not me
I have got my own philosophy
That’s not me

Princess Margaret bought a gun
She was not the only one
She wanted something to protect her
Candied sugar in her nose
Just a phase? Well, I suppose
Time to pay the bill collector
That’s Not Me

Maybe that’s the way those people want to live
That’s OK for them

That's not me
I'm special and I do things differently
No, no, no, that’s not me
I have got my own philosophy
That’s not me