Fear

A ringing phone at 4am is such a lonely sound
Mama was on the line, her world turned upside down
She said your heart was in their hands
I closed my eyes to pray and I began to understand

That my biggest fear
Being here
Is carrying on when you’re gone
So if I grieve before you leave
It’s just my way of pushing on

I don’t remember every memory
My head was in the clouds, my mind was set on me
The future seemed so far away
Now it feels so close it might just be today

And my biggest fear
Is drawing near
Carrying on when you’re gone
So if I grieve before you leave
It’s just my way of pushing on

What if I can’t breathe, what if I beg you not to leave
What if I can never find a way
What if I hold on, what if I just can’t move on
What if I never have the chance to say

I wanna put your voice in a tiny box
So several years from now I can dust it off
And with your comfort and your calm
You’ll reassure me you’re not far at all

That amidst my fear
You’re right here
An angel’s wing across my back
Walkin down that aisle
I’ll see your smile
On every face that you held dear
So never fear