The Twelve Days of Christmas

The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
A latex prophylactic that broke.

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the third day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Five golden words
(“I have AIDS. I’m sorry.”)
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Six kilograms weight loss,
Five golden words
(“I have AIDS. I’m sorry.”)
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Seven weeks of severance pay,
Six kilograms weight loss,
Five golden words
(“I have AIDS. I’m sorry.”)
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Eight ex-friends,
Seven weeks of severance pay,
Six kilograms weight loss,
Five golden words
(“I have AIDS. I’m sorry.”)
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Nine months of AZT,
Eight ex-friends,
Seven weeks of severance pay,
Six kilograms weight loss,
Five golden words
(“I have AIDS. I’m sorry.”)
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Ten Hail Marys,
Nine months of AZT,
Eight ex-friends,
Seven weeks of severance pay,
Six kilograms weight loss,
Five golden words
(“I have AIDS. I’m sorry.”)
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Eleven purple lesions,
Ten Hail Marys,
Nine months of AZT,
Eight ex-friends,
Seven weeks of severance pay,
Six kilograms weight loss,
Five golden words
(“I have AIDS. I’m sorry.”)
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Twelve copies of The Joy of Death and Dying,
Eleven purple lesions,
Ten Hail Marys,
Nine months of AZT,
Eight ex-friends,
Seven weeks of severance pay,
Six kilograms weight loss,
Five golden words
(“I have AIDS. I’m sorry.”)
Four four-leafed clovers,
Three horseshoes,
Two rabbits’ feet,
And a latex prophylactic that broke.