Stray Trombone

I was minding my own business,
Standing too close to something wrong.
I was minding my own business,
Too close to something going wrong.
And the police pulled up to me and asked me,
Is that your trombone?

I said, No sir no, but it’s been following me all day.
I even ran down some alleys,
It just followed me all this way.
They said that’s pretty hard to believe there, Sparky.

I said it is remarkably agile for a trombone,
And how did you know my name is Sparky?

Oh, the trouble of a stray trombone.
Oh, the troubling blues of a stray trombone.
Only the heartless would not find
That piece of brass a home.

They said they might arrest me
For resisting an obvious rhyme.
Take me down to the station and book me
And make me do some
Community service of some sort.

Oh, the trouble of a stray trombone.

I admit to some affection for the stray trombone.
A low rent pawnshop should not be its final home.
But oh the trouble of a stray trombone.

So I hatched me a plan to save it
From the pawnshop dive.
I just grabbed it and ran screaming,
You’ll never take me alive.
But oh, the trouble with a horn that size!