On Stealing A Sailboat

Me and my buddy Ed
Well we were walking down by the dock one day
We were just looking at all them good lookin’ boats down there

“I wish I had a boat”
Says Ed, I laughed ‘cause he’s always broke
I said “Ed, you can’t afford to float”

You can’t afford to float, drifting away from the shore

So we’re down near the end
You know where all them pretty sailboats are tied
And all them big masts all bobbing in the air

Ed says “I could sail one of these
Hell, you don’t even need a key”
But I didn’t think it looked quite that easy

It don’t look that easy, Ed, drifting away from the shore

But Ed said I had no experience
In the matter and he untied a boat
And he proceeded to jump inside

I followed him in but
I think it was a bad idea
‘Cause now we’re drifting away from the dock

Drifting away from the shore, drifting away from the shore

Ed cranks the levers
And he pulls on the tiller and yells at me to row
But I said “Ed, there ain’t any paddles”

And someone on the dock
Is yelling and he sounds pretty mad
And I begin to regret taking a walk with Ed

I wish I’d stayed at home, drifting away from the shore
Then Ed screams “Let’s beat it”
And he jumps over the side
And starts swimming like a fool for the shoreline

Well, I can’t swim
Thought I never even learned how
I wonder if it hurts to get shot

I bet that’s gonna hurt, Ed, drifting away from the shore

Suddenly I’m surrounded
By angry people yelling at me through a bullhorn
And I didn’t even know the police had a boat

On the way back to the dock
I saw Ed climbing onto the rocks
And hauling **** down the sidewalk

Don’t ask me to go walking again, Ed, drifting away from the shore