If She Don't Like Dogs

Well a friend, he asked to know my mind
about how to find a woman who would treat him kind.
He said "Johnny, what should I be lookin' to see to get me some of that married life harmony?"
I said "You just bring a dog around,
to see how she is with that old hound.
That, there, brother ought to be your clue --
'cause there's a lot in common 'tween a dog and you."

A dog don't stop to wipe his feet
Y'know he's too busy wonderin' what's to eat.
Kinda loud and messy when he hit's that chow
Want's to get it down -- he don't much care how.

And a dog ain't the model of modesty
Gonna scratch himself for anyone to see
Do much worse if there's a female around
You got to get out the hose just to cool him down.

Chorus:
No she don't have to like sports or huntin' deer
She don't have to like fishin' with a case of beer
She don't have to like spiders or snakes or frogs
But, don't you never trust a woman if she don't like dogs.

Something else about you and that old canine
you could both take a nap most any time
Fall right over where it's soft and cool
leave a nice big puddle of drool.

When she cusses him out he gets a face so long
like he don't know what he done wrong.
Goes to the doghouse in disgrace
when she let's him back, he tries to lick her face.

(chorus)

Now the thing you ought to know about a woman like that --
she's always wishin' her dog was a cat
Want's a neat, clean, prissy little ball of fur.
Y'know, something more like her.
So if you want to be happy, just look real hard
for woman who's living with a St. Bernard
She'll take a look at him, and take a look at you --
She'll think "I got me one, might as well have two."

You get a woman like that to be your wife,
you'll have a man's best friend for the rest of your life.

(chorus)