Wasted or Spent? (inspired by 'Halo: The Fall of Reach')

what is my job? to send them win or lose into the fight? no, i don’t know - it has arrived, the moment all i’ve loved is on the line - it’s time to go - stare through the black, they lay dying and the blame is mine - they look to me - ring a bell for the prize and ‘acceptable losses in war’, both victories - how can that be? when it’s time to decide, who lives, who dies, their destinies rest in my hand - reflections of all my life flash by - were they wasted or spent? now here i stand, my friends are bent and crippled and dead - i am stronger - when this war is won, would i rather just have had my friends that much longer? yes i would