Learning How To Love Him

"I wrote this song after hearing an acquaintance of mine talk about learning that her husband of 40+ years was terminally ill. What really struck me was how she described the tenderness that the news brought back to their relationship. She said that the house was quiet and she had never realized how much they used to yell at one another. The topic is unavoidably sad but I meant to focus on the beauty of loving someone for that long rather than the loss.
We had a few different ideas for how to record this one. I did a couple of live takes of just me and the acoustic guitar and when I went back into the control room the guys and Tim all thought we should leave it. So we did."

I spent 42 years learning how to love him
buttons on his shirt and supper in the oven and 1,000 reasons
have come and gone
We raised our children, we raised our voices
we made mistakes, made our choices
we've both been right and we've both been wrong

after all these years, I'm still quick to draw

There were plenty of times I thought about leaving
when the kids were grown and I could breath
and it seemed to me there was so much life I'd missed
It wasn't always good, but it wasn't always bad
and we made a lot from the little we had
when I think about it now I wish I hadn't held back so much of what I had to give

but after all these years, this is what love is

Now I'm running out of time to say I'm sorry
for anything I ever did to hurt you darling,
heaven help our jealous hearts
they may not always have been kind
but here they are

Now we talk a little softer and the house is quiet
we lay a little longer in the morning light
we've been holding hands and kissing on the lips again
Just last week we stayed out til dawn
slow dancing to the fast songs
it felt so good laughing like old friends

after all these years I couldn't tell you where that went

'Cause time is a gift that we all take for granted
til it's running low and we understand
it's not about your money or your best laid plans or your lists
I woke last night and I felt so afraid
I turned on the light, I shook him awake and we stared at the ceiling
listening to the sink drip

and after all these years this is what love is

now I'm sitting by his bed in a little white room
and I know that time is coming soon
I'm choking on silence for all I've got to say
I spent 42 years learning how to love him and I never loved him more than I do today
I spent my whole life learning how to love him and I never loved him more than I do today