Farm Fitness Club

Farm Fitness Club
Rocky Alvey © 2006

I’ve been watching people jogging past my farm for days
And that got me thinking about this fitness craze
How everybody wants to look like a movie star
Well a farmer’s in shape without even trying
He doesn't even think about exercising
We’re just doing all our chores out on the farm

That’s when a bulb in my head started burning
When I saw how much money I could be earning
If I became a wellness entreprenuer
I’ll put up a sign saying “lose those pounds”
“the best guaranteed fitness plan around”
and I’ll have my clients shoveling cow manure

So my radio ad goes……

JOIN THE FARM FITNESS CLUB
You can have so much fun
You can get in shape, you’ll start feeling great
Lose inches on your thighs and buns
JOIN THE FARM FITNESS CLUB
Do some cardio farming chores
Melt your fat, increase muscle mass
And get healthy in the great outdoors

So I called up my banker, accountant and lawyer
Said remember that story bout ole Tom Sawyer
And how all those folks painted that fence for him
Well I’m starting a business that does just that
I‘ll take advantage of excess body fat
And can you believe all those guys said they wanted in

Well it’s been an overwhelming success I’ll say
They are out there building fences and throwing hay
Doing all my farming chores the whole day through
There are politicians, business types and famous actors
And I ride around on my John Deere tractor
Telling all those fools the next thing to do

And my radio ad goes........

Chorus

Our crash course plan runs July through August
You will sweat off pounds like your in a sauna
In just 2 short months we’ll make a whole new you
For a nominal fee when it comes to relaxing
Our cow pond’s great for taking long mud baths in
Accepting Mastercard,Visa and even AmEx too

Chorus

Disclaimer

Past results are not necessarily indicative of individual weight loss when compared to test subjects. Farm Fitness Club LLc will not be held responsible for loss of fingers toes or other bodily injury while using farm fitness machinery. Workout programs increase a statistical risk of being stepped on by horses, cows and accidental drowning. Individuals who experience naseau, vomiting, headaches, erectile dysfunction while in the Farm Fitness Club program, should consult their personal physician