You Can't Stand Up (for Jesus)

I’m a Sunday morning Christian, so to speak.
I’d hate to say just what I am the other 6 days of the week.
I confess I’m quite the sinner, I guess I’ve always been.
Why does everything I ever want to do have to be a sin?

Saturday night drinking made me stumble & fall.
Sunday morning came so early – I could barely crawl.
“Stand & sing hymn 23,” I heard the preacher call.
But you can’t stand up for Jesus if you can’t stand up at all.

I get to ranting & raving & wildly misbehaving.
The preacher wants to save me, but hell I ain’t worth saving.
I got myself a prayer book, but I ain’t got a prayer.
How can a man be going to Hell if he’s already there?

[Repeat chorus]

I slipped into the back-most pew, closest to the door
My neighbor poked me in the ribs every time I’d start to snore
The preacher took the pulpit & pointed for all to see
And his entire sermon boiled down to: don’t you be like me.

[Repeat chorus]
But you can’t stand up for Jesus if you can’t stand up at all.