Rachael Kilgour - Ghost of My Father

Ghost of My Father

Name your faith And hold to it tight
We all know how this ends We all hope to be right

But will a myth save your soul? Do you have one to begin with? How can you be sure?

I sit quiet and still
With the ghost of my father Until it is clear
Why he’s dead and I’m here But where is ‘here’ exactly? What’s beyond? No one knows But the ghost of my father
The ghost…

Are our fates predetermined Am I acting a part?
Oh, the burden of consciousness The break of the heart

Tell me what makes a life Worth living or ending
At the edge of the night?

I sit quiet and still
With the ghost of my father Until it is clear
Why he’s dead and I’m here But where is ‘here’ exactly? What’s beyond? No one knows But the ghosts of our fathers The ghosts surely know

I am pointlessly searching
Won’t someone assure me? Will my efforts be wasted? My existence erased
At my ragged last breath? Oh, look at me death
Look me straight in the eyes

What does a dying man owe us? Should he wear a brave face?
Make the leaving look easy? Surrender with grace?

But you were frightened and small When the tether gave way
And I have not forgotten No, I am not the same

I sit quiet and still
With the ghost of my father Hoping he’ll make it clear Why he’s dead and I’m here But where is ‘here’ exactly?
What’s beyond? I’ll never know ‘Til I’m a ghost like my father
A ghost