Martha Stewart's Dog

I live in Connecticut
I know lots of etiquette
Martha gives me lots of eats
She is good with trick or treats

You may think I’m just a Chow
What do you know anyhow
Puts my picture on TV
Would you be so good to me?

Who are you?
You’re no star
Sit and scoff
From afar

Envy me
Got it good
I eat better
Than you would

I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I’ll bite you

I am all she thinks about
She is perfect, have no doubt
I can’t wait ‘til she gets home
And we snuggle all alone

Doing all her big time stuff
You don’t know, she’s got it rough
Making everything so great
Working hard from eight to eight

Who are you?
You’re no star
Sit and scoff
From afar

Envy me
Got it good
I eat better
Than you would

I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I’ll bite you

She’s decorating
I’m salivating
Ingesting frosting
Regurgitating
I’m wearing sweaters
That bear her letters
To keep from sneezing
While you are freezing

I’ll bite your assets
She’ll make you brochettes
I’ll whip your butter
She’ll clean your clutter
You think I’m kidding?
I do her bidding
So keep your distance
And show your reverence

Living with her every day
Missing her when she’s away
Martha makes my life complete
She’s a Milk Bone on two feet

I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I’ll bite you

I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I’ll bite you

I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I am Martha Stewart’s dog
I’ll bite you

©(p) Rosa Hosa (ASCAP)