FRUITCAKE (Thanksgiving / Christmas Song)

"FRUITCAKE"

In Grandma Roses' kitchen I was born.
When forced to leave that Christmas, I was torn.
Sometimes bein' a fruitcake leaves me cold.
At least I'm not the funky, green marshmellow jello mold!

CHORUS
So many holidays... So many long buffets...
I've been served with every kind of food you can create. There was...
turkey with gigantic legs, port cheese, crackers, deviled eggs,
honey ham and even Spam, smelly jelly from a can,
mincemeat pie with raisin eyes, popovers with no insides,
Ambrosia salad, cleanse your pallet, even hotdogs are more valid.
The loneliest food, make no mistake,
is this vintage Hickory Farms heirloom fruitcake.

VERSE
Next year, I surprised Aunt Eleanor.
She hung me like a wreath upon her door.
Then used me as a gift to Uncle Chuck,
who tried to pass me off as candied stuffing with the duck!

CHORUS
So many holidays... So many long buffets...
I've been served with every kind of food you can create. There was...
turkey with gigantic legs, port cheese, crackers, deviled eggs,
honey ham and even Spam, smelly jelly from a can,
mincemeat pie with raisin eyes, popovers with no insides,
Ambrosia salad, cleanse your pallet, even hotdogs are more valid.
The loneliest food, make no mistake,
is this vintage Hickory Farms heirloom fruitcake.

BRIDGE
Fruitcake... Fruitcake... I'm breakin' down... Used to be brown...
Fruitcake... Fruitcake... Just like Aunt Millies' old pet monkey,
this fruitcake is smellin' funky... FUNKY!

VERSE
Every family has a fruitcake. (You know who you are!)
Climb the tree all drunk on eggnog wearin' a hat made from the star!

CHORUS
You love... turkey with gigantic legs, port cheese, crackers, deviled eggs,
honey ham and even Spam, smelly jelly from a can,
mincemeat pie with raisin eyes, popovers with no insides,
Ambrosia salad, cleanse your pallet, even hotdogs are more valid.
The loneliest food, make no mistake,
is this vintage Hickory Farms heirloom fruitcake.

END
I'm the oldest, yet moldless, the only thing not on your dish...
I wonder who'll get me on next years' Christmas list!

Sound Copyright 2005, Song Copyright 11/2004
Lynn Julian, ASCAP, Cookie Cutter Publishing
Publishing@CookieCutterGirl.com