(Have You Tried) Not Bein a Dick

8 - (Have You Tried) Not Being a Dick 2:56 -  © 2022 Carla Ulbrich BMI  ISRC: US-KMZ-21-0008 - Uptempo honky-tonk, in-your-face song written to someone who clearly needs a good whooping **FCC WARNING

naughty words: 0:37 0:39 0:41 0:43 0:44 1:20 1:23 1:24 1:26 1:28 1:34 2:16 2:17 2:19 2:21 2:22 2:38 2:39 “dick”
0:46 “tool” 0:47 “****”
0:48 “pecker” 1:30 “dong”

You wonder why your woman left you
And your friends are so very few
Even your golden retriever
Can’t seem to make time for you

Any time you throw a party
Everyone calls in sick
It’s all so sad but I wonder
Have you tried not bein’ a dick

Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick
A tool a **** a pecker
Have you tried not bein’ a dick

You’ve tried going to all kinds of meetups
And looking for friends on craigslist
Learning some clever pickup lines
To find yourself a new chick

You even tried taking up smoking
But no one would flick your Bic
You went to join Scientology
They said “Have you tried not bein’ a dick?”

Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick a dinner a dong a doinker
have you tried Not bein’ a dick

If houseplants all turn brown and shrivel
Whenever you enter the room
If raindrops refuse to fall on your head
And babies crawl back in the womb

If you’ve tried to split a hotel room
And your roommate preferred the car trunk
If you’ve taken a personality test and flunked
If your girlfriend keeps deflating herself
Or asks “Can you make this quick?”
Then maybe it’s time you asked yourself
Have I tried not being a dick?

Not bein’ a dick
Not bein’ a dick
It may be against your religion
So how ‘bout just try a little smidgeon
Would it kill ya for just 5 minutes just to try
Just to try not bein’ a dick
acoustic guitar: Carla Ulbrich
vocal: Carla Ulbrich
dobro: Rob Ickes
fiddle: Andy Leftwich
background vocals: Carla Ulbrich, Steve Goodie
drums: Steve Goodie
bass: Steve Goodie
piano: Bob Malone

friends
are
so
very
few
Even
your
golden
retriever
Can’t
seem
to
make
time
for
you
Any
time
you
throw
a
party
Everyone
calls
in
sick
It’s
all
so
sad
but
I
wonder
Have
you
tried
not
bein’
a
dick
Not
bein’
a
dick
Not
bein’
a
dick
Not
bein’
a
dick
A
tool
a
****
a
pecker
Have
you
tried
not
bein’
a
dick
You’ve
tried
going
to
all
kinds
of
meetups
And
looking
for
friends
on
craigs
list
Learning
some
clever
pickup
lines
To
find
yourself
a
new
chick
You
even
tried
taking
up
smoking
But
no
one
would
flick
your
Bic
You
went
to
join
Scientology
They
said
“Have
you
tried
not
bein’
a
dick?”
Not
bein’
a
dick
Not
bein’
a
dick
Not
bein
’
a
dick
a
dinner
a
dong
a
doinker
have
you
tried
Not
bein’
a
dick
If
houseplants
all
turn
brown
and
shrivel
Whenever
you
enter
the
room
If
raindrops
refuse
to
fall
on
your
head
And
babies
crawl
back
in
the
womb
If
you’ve
tried
to~