At the Dollar Store

off-brand liquid paper
packing tape that tears
a solar light that works sometimes
some batteries that suck
a shower cap that doesn’t fit
a book by Simon Cowell
but what the hey it only costs a buck

at the dollar store
everything’s so cheap
at the dollar store
your cart is now a heap
you’ll wonder how you spent so much
your home now has that hoarders touch
but think of all the savings at the dollar store

a movie starring Paris hilton
some jordache-like cologne
Ooh a bag of circus peanuts
man am i in luck
this gift wrap has a cancer warning
hey look a pregnancy test
can you believe this only costs a buck?

at the dollar store
everything’s so cheap
at the dollar store
just throw it on the heap
if you want to cut down on the plastic
just stay home- no that’s too drastic
think of all the savings at the dollar store

i saw a woman in the checkout line
who only had two items
seriously i ask you, who does that?
she was buying pencils and a notebook
and nothing else at all
she’s got to be some kind of psychopath

at the dollar store
get your tasty cakes
at the dollar store
serving up the 3-ounce steaks
if someone asks you where you bought it
you don’t have have to admit you got it
with all your other bargains at the dollar store