Things That I Trust More Than You

I’m not saying you’re a liar
That you say things that may not be true
I’m just saying If I look around
There are things that I trust more than you

Like pet food from China tap water from Flint
subscriptions that auto-renew
A mohel with tremors A Psychic who’s broke
the cleanliness of a bowling shoe

miracle water from a tv preacher
a somewhat burnt surge protector
Nigerian email Promising cash
the meatballs at Hannibal Lechter’s

I’m not saying you’re a liar
That you say things that may not be true
I’m just saying if I look around
There are things that I trust more than you

The guy reading the paper in a nondescript van
sitting across the street
gas station sushi a blind hairdresser
a plate of Taco Bell meat

My life savings in the stock market
a fart when I’ve got the flu
A Bigfoot sighting A set of used tires
my cat with Pepe Lepew

I’m not saying you’re a liar
Or that your karma is way overdue
I’m just saying everywhere I look
There are things that I trust more than you

Like a three dollar bill Hair in a can
a period that’s overdue
clean white walls and a toddler with crayons
a hastily packed parachute

The ingredients in a hot dog
being in a cage with gorillas
The five-second rule is an actual thing
And OJ will catch the real killer
these are things that I trust more than you