I AM NOT WHAT I HAVE DONE

I am a father, I am man,
I’m a husband, I am a friend
I’m a lover, a brother, a son
I am not what I have done

I was a boy, barely a man
I had no love to fall back on
Locked in my bedroom, banished from love
I wished I’d never been born at all

Green and purple, black and blue
A scream don’t stop the screaming, no matter what you do
Drugs filled the void and crazy filled my head
I lost all my faith, I wanted her dead

Brothers in arms, deeper than blood
In a flash, the line was crossed
I stole a car, I got a gun
They will pay for what they’ve done

Everything changed in a single blast
Turned myself in, I lost my past,
That big grey bus took me to a place
That looks and smells like rust

The bullet left the chamber, travelled through the air
Before the smoke had cleared it all became clear
Everything is final but by then it was too late
So I now I sleep and wake and sleep and wait

Now I’m a killer, not a man
I’m a convict not a son
I’m a felon, the bad guy, outcast
I am not what I have done

Now I’m 17 years down on a 29 plus life
And I paint birds cause they can fly
I can’t read but there’s writing on the wall
The earth keeps circling this number to be called

I miss love but I find hope
In the sight of every envelope
I will travel this passage of time
To the day I won’t name my crime

I know this life has changed me
For the better, I don’t know
I used to plant seeds, I used to watch them grow
But I’m the guy who drove the car
Yeah, I just went along
Sixteen times denied parole, please send me home

Give me time, give me change
Give me my freedom to be me again
Oh let me be the prodigal one
For I am not what I have done

I’m a lover, a brother, a son
I am not what I have done.