Your Face Again

At twenty-three, you were kind, smart, and sweet
I thought I was lucky when we said I do
At thirty-five, well it’s hard to describe
The creature that you’ve turned yourself into
You can’t hold a job, and you don’t want no kids
Now you tell me that you’re leaving, well let me tell you this

I’d rather drive in rush hour traffic, in Atlanta
On the night before Thanksgiving day
With baby alligators crawling in the floorboard
And a migraine that just won’t go away
The windows all rolled down, twenty-two degrees
In a stolen car, riding on a rim
And to see blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror
Than to ever have to see your face again

It ain’t even Christmas, or my birthday
But this is the best gift ever given
To see that fool leaving, in his Chevrolet
And he was dumb enough to take you with him
I see fireworks and rainbows, it’s Independence Day
I’m the happiest boy in the USA

I’d rather run a marathon in Egypt, in a speedo, and sandals
In the middle of a desert dust storm
Alongside a vegan, that talks about his poodles
And how he just loves runnin’ when it’s warm
Gettin’ shot at by rebels, that just don’t like my outfit
Down-wind from a camel caravan
And miss out on a medal by disqualification
Than to ever have to see your face again