Arkansas Island

Well I dropped my ticket in the box at the old strip mall
It said “win a Caribbean cruise to paradise” y’all
I got a little excited when they called and said I’d won
So I packed my bags and flew south towards the sun

The first night onboard I lost a grand in the slot machines
But the buffet dinner was nice and my room was clean
This morning we stopped and docked here in Mexico
The beach it awaits, grab the sun tan lotion, let’s go

What I saw next was sorta hard to explain
Kinda looked like Talladega or a football game
Hairy white guys and drunk grandmaws
Shooting Patron, singing George Strait songs

They should’ve called it Arkansas Island
It kinda feels just like home
The beach sure looks inviting
But I’m too drunk to swim alone
It’s like the trailer park got blown away
And washed up here on Independence Day
Not a cloud on the horizon
Out here on Arkansas Island

I stumbled down the street for a bite to eat
Found a little cantina with ribs and turnip greens
But when I tried to order my third picture of beer
They said “No mas, Senior. The boat gonna leave you here.”

On my walk back I kinda went on a spree
Bought eight shot glasses and some DVD’s
Six t-shirts and some diet pills
A Dallas Cowboys blanket
Man, what a deal

They should’ve called it Arkansas Island
It kinda feels just like home
The beach sure looks inviting
But I’m too drunk to swim alone
It’s like the trailer park got blown away
And washed up here on Independence Day
Not a cloud on the horizon
Out here on Arkansas Island

Out here on Arkansas Island
Woo pig sooie