Bernie Went To Wall Street
Bernie went to Wall Street
With bright lights in his eyes
His daddy was a broker
So it came as no surprise
They gave him a job
The first day he arrived
And said ‘Welcome to the club of the chosen ones’

He was a natural
He knew just what to do
He lied and took their money
And enjoyed his penthouse view

Welcome to the club of the chosen ones
Have a cigar and a brand new car
Welcome to the club of the chosen ones
Have a cigar and company credit card

He learned to bank it offshore
They told him what to do
He cheated on his taxes
And enjoyed his Cessna too

Welcome to the club of the chosen ones
Have a cigar, I know you’ll go far
Welcome to the club of the chosen ones
Have a cigar and any girl in the bar

Bernie had a problem
It wasn’t in his plan
They took him off to prison
In a big white van

Welcome to the club of the chosen ones
There ain’t no cigars or penthouse view
Welcome to the club of the chosen ones
There’s lots of bars but it ain’t much fun

Bernie met the warden
Who showed him to his cell
He said, say hello to Big Ralph
He’ll take good care of you
And he’ll give you a free tattoo