Back-Door Secret Agent Man

Back-door Secret Agent Man, he who cracks his ownself up, well he's got a workin plan. He will wait at the station 'til the station empties out, then he'll sit down on the floor and he'll begin to shout, "I'm The Back-door Secret Agent Man, I may look mighty dirty and mighty dirty is what I am, but I got me a ticket on the glory train, and if you want to come along, well, you know I won't complain.
Just then a cop came into the station. But he didn't give The Secret Agent no standing ovation. Instead he stood him up against the wall, he told The Secret Agent to "Spread 'em", but that caused The Secret Agent to fall. He screamed, "I'm The Backdoor Secret Agent Man, my brother in law's a sergeant in the Lam-A-Lam-A-Ding-Dong, and the cop looked blank, and he threw up his hands, and The Secret Agent whistled, and the band came in took the bandstand. They said, "hey, Backdoor Secret Agent Man, come and sing along with us 'bout your workin' plan. And they made some money and they made some people laugh, and the station filled up, and the people felt the draft from The Backdoor Secret Agent Man--he called in the winds and he beckoned to the clan, and they filed in with their bagpipes and kilts, and the clowns soon followed on their cycles and stilts, and the folks forgot their troubles, and the cops forgot their socks, and the doors all flew open 'cause the doors forgot their locks, and all the dirty people got served in all the bars, and all the fallen leaves, well,hung out with all of the stars-- the Backdoor Secret Agent Man, he who cracks his ownself up got a workin plan, he will wait at the station til the station empties out, then he'll sit on down, and he'll begin to shout.........